Excerpt: How Tom is Doing Today

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Let me answer the question of, “How am I doing?” I can say with confidence that while I still have moments of sadness and grief, they are diminishing daily. I am moving forward, and despite a little trepidation, am anticipating a positive future in front of me. I wouldn’t wish what I have gone through the last nine months on anyone; however, you might find it surprising that out of this tragedy I know I am a both a stronger and better person for the experience. I now don’t let the little things bother me and I live more in the moment. Some of you may be familiar with a song by Tim McGraw called “Live like You Were Dying,” a song about what would you do if you knew you were dying. There are two lines in that song that have touched me; those lyrics are, “And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter.” When reflecting on the significance of Bobbie’s death and how to live my life to the fullest, I am guided by these lyrics and strive more than ever to love deeper and speak sweeter.

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Again, I want to thank everyone for all that you have done in Bobbie’s memory and support for me. Before we conclude I have some final thoughts I would like to share with you. It occurred to me that I have been coming to this park every day for over a year and over that time I have experienced a number of things at the park. I have put into a poem the sights and sounds I experience sitting on this bench. I call the poem A Year on a Park Bench.

A Year on a Park Bench

As I sit on this bench, I feel the changes of the seasons.
The bitter cold of winter.
The pleasant warmth of a beautiful spring day.
The oppressive heat and humidity of an August morning
and the crisp air of a beautiful October day.

I feel the frigid air of January piercing the clothing of my bundled body.
I taste the snow as I catch it on my tongue.
I smell rain coming.
I see the flash of lightning and hear the crack of thunder of an approaching storm.
I feel a hard rain beat on my shoulders.
I feel the sun come out again.
I see a beautiful sunrise.
I see a beautiful sunset.

I see all types of birds at the park. I see the great blue heron waiting patiently for a meal.
I hear the green heron squawking as he watches guard in the branches of a nearby tree.
I catch a glimpse of a black crown night heron along the creek.
I hear the call of a red wing black bird in February announcing that spring is just around the corner.
I see barn swallows, rough wing swallows and chimney swifts skimming the water for insects.
I see a pair of ospreys soaring overhead looking for a tasty morsel.
I feel the anger of a dive bombing mockingbird who is upset that I got too close to her nest.
I feel the anger of a pair of Canada geese hissing at me for getting too close to their goslings.
I see the magnificent white crest of a dozen hooded mergansers as they dive for food in the middle of winter.
I hear the cawing of a family of crows. I hear the raucous arrival of a family of blue jays.

I experience all types of animal life at the park.
I see a school of blue gills waiting for a person with a slice of bread.
I see a number of turtles basking on a log enjoying the warmth of the sun.
I see a rabbit and a groundhog enjoying the new shoots of the spring grass.
I hear the croaking of male frogs trying to impress the opposite sex.
I see a beaver swimming low in the water.
I feel the presence of a dragonfly that just landed on my shoulder.

I experience all types of plant life.
I see the pink blossoms of the cherry trees that line the lake.
I smell the sweetness of honeysuckle.
I admire the deep blue of iris.
I see trees sending out new leaves.
I see brown, orange and red shades of leaves in autumn.

I experience all types of family life at the park as well.
I see parents pushing babies in a stroller.
I see parents giving encouragement to a child on a bike with training wheels.
I hear toddlers exclaim in glee, “Look at the doggie!”
I hear my friends from the dog park say, “Here comes Beau!”
I hear the excitement of a group of children playing at the playground.
I hear the squeaking of a swing set that needs oiling.
I hear the crack of the bat at a Little League game.
I smell hamburgers cooking on the barbeque.
I see extended families enjoy a picnic lunch.
I see the faces and clothing of a dozen cultures.
I hear the languages of a dozen cultures.
I feel joy when I see a couple holding hands.
I feel alone when I see a couple holding hands.
I sense a community coming together.